Females are from Venus

Females in the animal kingdom have a more sensible approach to their relationships with men and with each other, than human women do.

Take for example the laid back female lion. She hunts for the pride. The females and young stay together, while males keep close, but at a distance. When it comes time to add to the pack, the males become aggressive, they will fight each other for a little swish of tail. The females, accept it, it doesn’t seem to me as if they particularly enjoy it, and you won’t see two female lions scratch each other’s eyes out over a male.

The females, when not hunting, loll about with the young, and they seem to have no difficulties working, playing, and parenting together.

Human females, and not just because they can stand erect, do not get along so easily, and do compete viciously at times, for male affection. Perhaps this is why younger women don’t get to the place of the lioness as easily as older women do.

The young woman will hunt her prey, and take any means necessary to make the kill. Once she lands her “ideal man,” she may find that that lovely proud mane was about as deep as he gets. This is when she first seeks out her female companions for support. For some women, they have formed deep friendships in childhood that have lasted. I think this is the lucky exception. For the rest, they find their single friends may no longer relate to them. Their married friends with children may be too busy for them. It isn’t easy to admit to someone, specially friends and family, that you may have made a mistake in your choice of marriage partner. Or, maybe a woman realizes things are not what she had envisioned (what I call the Brady Bunch Syndrome) and once the children come along, he is not Father Knows Best. There may be people they meet at work, or school meetings who are at the same place, and it is easier to talk to these strangers about it.

I think it is at that point that women realize they can turn to each other for understanding and support. One of my friends said it best I think, when she said, “You know, I can seriously understand why some women switch teams, because only another women can really understand what a women needs.” I am not knocking marriage, some women stick it through, and come out okay on the other side. But the support of understanding friends is what can see you through.

It makes me realize how lucky I am to have some really wonderful friends in my life. Carla and I became friends in the cardiac unit. She and I became pregnant at about the same time with our first children. She worked evenings, and I worked nights, so I often relived her, and we used to chat and compare pregnancy notes. A beautiful friendship grew from that, which has lasted 18 years now, even though she is now in Florida.

Cathy, I met only about two years ago, but her sense of humor and infectious wit made me like her instantly. I admire how brave she was in making it through two failed marriages, one of them very abusive, and putting her own and her children’s happiness first, ahead of any man, never once worrying if they would be financially secure, she put happiness first. That is a difficult choice in some cases.

And Diane has become my friend this last year. We connected instantly, maybe because fuck is our favorite word, she is so real, and honest, I just love her. She has a strong work ethic, and her children seem to be great kids, they treat her like gold. I want her son to marry my daughter, but I think he’s too smart to get tangled in Kristy’s high-maintenance web, and I say that with love!! <3>

These people are the reason I am not concerned with letting people know I am 44, and letting my gray roots get ahead of me sometimes. These are the women who were there for me when no one else was, Carla most of all, just because of how long we have been friends.

So ladies, my theory is, we should take a lesson from the female lions. Get some action when you want to. Don’t commit to any one man ( or woman.) Take care of you children and yourself first, and always stick together.